Let me introduce you to Vance..

My childhood sweetheart Vance was a handsome man, he stood about 6 feet tall, had an athletic body, dark chocolate skin, and oh so charming.

Throughout my school years I was somewhat of the “ugly ducking” (not quite fully matured & socially awkward), however I somehow still always managed to attract the most popular & most handsome boys in school.

Vance and I didn’t really speak much in the first few years of school, until one winter break where I had to leave school mid term for an urgent family trip which meant I missed our annual school Christmas disco. I’m not sure the ins & outs, but all I know is Vance and the girl he was with at the time broke it off because he became all too friendly with the girl who was tutoring his little sister (I should’ve seen the early onset red flags). I guess his little sister wasn’t the only one getting some knowledge!

By the time we came back to school after winter break, I got told that Vance had been asking where I had disappeared to and why I wasn’t at the disco. This was all too strange. considering I hardly spoke to him – nor were we in the same classes. I wasn’t complaining though, to be honest as I found him very attractive.

A couple of weeks went by and Vance finally approached me and began his courting process. He was super charming – so smooth with his words, it made me forget his past transgressions with his ex. We continued to spend more and more time together, and the more time I spent with him, the better I got to know him.

Vance was completely not what I expected. He was actually such a cool, down to earth guy; he loved his family, protected his little sister, and he was a great listener. All of these things – plus the fact that he was gorgeous made it all too easy for me to like him. And boy did I like him! I would go to his house and play games consoles, braid his little sisters hair & catch up with school work. He would also come to my house and do the same, playing with games consoles with my brother and be involved in family dinners.

At school we were the envy of all our friends, even the teachers were aware of our relationship. We were what you call now “#relationship goals”..  The only problem was that I didn’t know how to be in a relationship. Vance was amazing, he was this great guy ready to commit to me, ready to give me the world & all he could offer at the age of 15, but I just wasn’t ready. The concept of being in a relationship- being responsible for another being other than myself, was a concept too daunting for me at that time. I guess Vance couldn’t be patient anymore and we decided to just be friends after 10 months of dating and still are friends until this day.


I bet you’ve met a guy like Vance – he’s what we call

“right guy, wrong time”



All women can relate to having those crucial guys in their lives that either shape their behaviour and attitude for better or worse..

This story summarises a variety of men that I have encountered in my life that have had the biggest impact on me.

Each chapter will reveal a new man, and will take you on a journey different from the last; with every chapter leading to a different situation, outcome and lesson learnt.


I’m sure and certain ladies that you have dated a guy like..